Got No Rhythm?

When a man calls my dance studio to ask if I can help him ballroom dance here in Orlando. I always say, “If you can walk, you can dance.” Then he’ll hesitate and say, “You don’t understand, I don’t have any rhythm.”

In ballroom dancing lessons, I believe that the man holds the drum for dancing together. "Can two walk together unless they agree?" (paraphrased)

It is the follower's job to follow the leader and his timing - right, wrong or off beat. If the follower is connected to the leader and the leader is connected to the music ---- ahh, no "wrestling match" on the dance floor. Just a smooth dance. A good follower can follow her leader without music.

With couple relationships, I believe the same concept applies. If a man is connected to God (The Drummer) then his connection transfers to the woman and she can follow. It becomes the man's job to stay connected to the Drummer, and he encourages the follower to follow his steps.

What is our connection here on earth? What is our plumb line and GPS? It is the Good Book, the Bible. The Bible supplies the beat so the leader can keep a good drum beat that the woman can follow.

Don’t take my word for it, go to the Bible yourself and find His drum beat for you. An absolute sure thing to find a successful relationship with yourself and with others depends on this connection.

Are you in Orlando and want to know where to dance?

On the dance floor there are a few ways to communicate to your dance partner:

1) Shoulders.

Leaders, your dance frame is the easiest way for your follower to follow you seamlessly down the dance floor in ease and delight. If you are moving your arms forward and back, you are breaking your frame. Think of yourself as a “Ken doll.” Keep your arms toned and your body will move your arms and in turn your follower will understand your communication.

Followers, use your left hand that is lightly touching his shoulder in order to follow your leader. His shoulders should move at least one or two beats before his feet move. Always remember to wait a nano second until you have a clear lead. If you guess, you will guess 100 percent wrong, 100 percent of the time. It is better to wait and follow the leader. If you don’t wait, then you are leading. A sure recipe for disaster.

2) Hand placement:

Leaders, use your right hand on the lady’s shoulder blade. The scapula is a very large bone and acts like a rudder for turning your lady. If you are using your left arm to turn her, this is difficult for her to follow because moving your left arm back and forth breaks your frame. Instead, rock your right hand on her back from the heel of your hand to your finger tips. All women love back rubs, and you will be appreciated.

Followers, lean lightly into your leaders’ right hand so that you can feel his lead. If you are not lightly pushing back into his hand, while also pushing out slightly with both of your arms – you will miss our lead.

In your relationships off the dance floor, the same concepts apply. Keep your speech straight forward. Don’t waste time saying things to each other just to get a reaction. Instead, let your yes be your yes and your no be your know. Be truthful and be honest, but most of all encourage each other.

Stay a nano second behind each other. Allow each other to fully explain themselves while thinking the best. You really cannot learn the entire situation in a few paragraphs. Care enough to ask questions and to listen to the response. If you don’t full understand, ask, clarify and investigate.

Read about the secret to happiness. Keep dancing.