Tips for Romance -

Everyone is needed. . . . in one way or another. It’s like the school teacher who sent home a thank-you note to her student’s parents when their son played hooky.

Leaders need to lead, and followers need to follow. Duh? Well, of course, that is obvious – right? But this concept goes another layer deeper than the obvious to a deeper relationship secret you may not know.

Here’s the concept. Be careful, it is EASY to miss. Most of the women who come to my dance lesson try to help their leader. On the surface that sounds good, but it is NOT good.

Here’s why. The follower hears my instructions and then does the step I asked for -- even though their leader didn’t lead that step. When the men try to lead the same step in the jungle (at a dance) their follower misses the step. “You followed that step perfectly at the dance lesson. . . what’s the difference now?” asks her confused leader. The follower has cut her own throat and the throat of her leader because she is clueless to which step he wants to lead and the leader is clueless how to lead the step because the follower circumvented his ability to learn how to lead the step. Everyone has lost.

Tip 1: Stop helping your leader. The followers good intentions have gone all wrong. Better that the follower concentrate on her arm movements, her form, and her interpretation of “feeling” the correct lead than from leading herself in order to help the leader. If the leader doesn't lead you, stand there at look at him.

It is the same with a relationship. If you TRY and help the relationship by being the “date planner,” the “picnic to-go restaurant” and/or other relationship duties, then your relationship is one sided. You didn’t allow your partner to take the lead and do their part to carry the relationship. The relationship shrivels up and dies and no one knows why.

Instead, let your relationship grow at its own pace. Don’t push it by doing more than half of the duties. Allow the other person to plan a date, make the meal for a picnic, etc. If you don’t, then you will cut your throat because they won’t plan anything later in the relationship. After all, you were the everything person, why would you suddenly stop? Why should he/she step up and do a chore that is obviously your chore?

Wouldn’t a better alternative be to allow the other person the time to think of doing some special planning all by themselves? A better gift might be NOT getting what you want, but getting what the other person needs to give to you? After all, isn’t the true meaning of a relationship where two people interact and “relate” with each other? Equally?

Both leader and follower are needed to do their part on the dance floor. Both people in the relationship are needed to participate to be a healthy relationship.

Tips 2: You have not because you ask not: If you want your partner to spin you, ask. If you want your partner to give you a stiffer frame, ask. Telling the other person what you need is crucial to a reciprocal relationship. If the other person doesn’t know what you want, don’t wait and expect them to guess – ain’t gonna HAPPEN!! If the other person doesn’t want to grant your request, then maybe you don’t have a relationship? Maybe you are fabricating a relationship because you desperately want a relationship. You jump in and do something for them to fabricate a relationship that doesn’t exist. Trust me, a fabricated relationship is empty – emptier than if you were alone.

Tips 3: Lastly, it is very much needed to always remember to say, “Thank you” when you are given the extra spin or given the stiffer frame. Ahh, every one likes “thank yous." Thank you for reading this.

If you want more information about Night Club dance lessons in Orlando.